Chat Etiquette

I never imagined that I would have to post the following...

However, over the past couple of months there hasn't been many days gone by that someone hasn't approached me regarding what someone said either to them or someone else in the chat, and how they were not happy with it.

Look, I know I'm the head knocker around here seeing as I'm the one that pays the rent (with YOUR contributions), but this is YOUR chat folks.

We're a small group. We all know each other. We've spent a lot of time playing, talking, kidding, and sharing about ourselves, families, lives and everything else. Many of you I've come to consider close friends - enough so that I'd open my home to you.

We started this chat based on friendship, and I'll not be dealing with the bickering or the gossip. If you have a problem with another member, then talk to that person. We're people here - real live people. Treat each other like you would if you were at a festival, workshop, or any other social gathering.

Now... for some Chat Etiquette that's as old as the internet itself. I've modified it a bit to fit our situation, but I honestly never imagined I'd be asking - telling - my friends how they ought to interact with each other...

--sigh--

Common Courtesy

There are common courtesies to follow when in our chat or any other for that matter. Following them will put you, in other chatters' eyes, as being cordial, polite, and a nice person. Some of those courtesies are as follows:

1. Don't type all in CAPS. That's considered shouting.
2. Be kind to chat room newcomers. These people usually are not sure of what to do and will be a bit unsure of what to say. Be friendly and welcome them into the chat room.
3. Be respectful of other chatters and try not to express your own views or opinions too strenuously. You are as responsible for making the others' chat experience as pleasant as they are yours. It often pays to listen more than chat.
4. Don't be bossy or monopolize the chat. Don't try to pressure the other chatters to stick to a particular topic or dictate what the others can do or say in the chat.
5. Do not abuse your power if you are a chat room moderator or a very well known regular. Just because you may know more than the others in the chat, it gives you no right to lord your intelligence or popularity over everyone else’s heads.
6. Don't be a snoop. In other words, avoid pouring through the logs. You were not there when it was said so you didn't hear it. Yes, the logs are there for you to refer to; to help you get an idea of the topic of conversation at hand, but unless you're investigating some serious crime, just try to forget that it's there.
7. Don't be a tattle-tale. Just because you think that someone was offended, hurt, or whatever doesn't mean you have to run tell a moderator. The offender and offendee, should be able to work it out without intervention.
   

Offense and Defense

It is often very easy to misunderstand and to be misunderstood in chat. In text there are no vocal or visual clues to lend context to what is said. Without these clues, many things that are said innocently or as teasing can be taken as offensive. Your best defense in chat is to make sure you always include a smile or some other way to indicate that you are not being sharp or short or angry. By the same token, it never pays to be overly sensitive in chat. If in doubt, always assume the other person is being friendly and/or teasing (at least until you KNOW better).

On occasion you will come across a chatter who will be irate with you for something you said or who is just flat-out in a rotten mood. Usually this will be the result of a disagreement on a particular subject or even something said that was perceived as being derogatory. However, there is a growing number of chatters who just go into rooms to annoy the heck out of other chatters. These people will just pick someone out of the crowd and start insulting them for no apparent reason, other than to make themselves look cool or as if they know everything. Sometimes, it's just to see if they can get kicked or banned (trolling). Whether you purposefully or inadvertently make some chatter angry, you will need to know how to defend yourself or your views against such people.

The best defense is to ignore the offending chatter. Sometimes, this will prompt them to continue to try harder to get you to fight back and you will need to have lots of self-control. But believe me, it is the most effective way of dealing with insulting people.

If you are just dealing with someone who is in disagreement over a comment of yours, you can remedy the situation very cleanly by being polite and asking them why they disagree. Now, if you are in the wrong over your comment, then be cordial and quick to apologize about what was said. These are two ways to effectively diffuse a potential “flame war” between you and other chatters over something very trivial.

Sometimes, when dealing with the perpetrator or perpetrators, it's a good thing to have a quick and reflexive wit or a very good humorous mind. Spur of the moment humorous comments will sometimes shut people up and at other times it will just aggravate them, making the whole situation even worse than before. Don't sink to their level if they use a lot of profanity, or vulgar references. By matching what they are typing, you're saying to everyone else in the chat room that you are just as rude, crude, and vile as they are and don't have much of an imagination.

Thanks for reading...

-=Jim